Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Messing with my head!
Today I had an unexpected message from.... my ex. Yup, that's right, I haven't talked to him in about a month and a half and after our last conversation, I haven't wanted to talk to nor hear from him. So today while I was at work I was logged on to MSN Messenger, like usual, and I was working at the copier for a while. When I went back to my computer there was a message from him. First he wrote my whole name out and then he said something like "just wanted to say hi.... hope you have a nice day". WTF!!! Why would he feel the need to even say that? Doesn't he realize that by even saying anything at all he is bringing hurt and angry feelings back to the surface of my mind? When I saw his message I felt a mixture of fury and the strong desire to start balling. Luckily I was able to compose myself, since I was at work and all. What is wrong with men? Are all men so selfish that they have to act on their feelings and completely disregard ours? Or is it just this stupid man in particular?
The Conclusion
My second date with Chemistry.com guy was this past Friday and started off well enough. I met him at his place near downtown Denver and then he drove us to dinner at a fairly new Italian restaurant called Osteria Marco. We ordered a bottle of wine at the bar and then moved to our table shortly after we arrived. We enjoyed pleasant conversation over yummy salad and pizza. (The food was great, but the atmosphere was a little more noisy than romantic.) Then we decided to lighten things up and have a little fun and went to a pool hall. I got my butt kicked repeatedly, but we had a good time. Afterwards he drove us back to his place where he invited me to come up. I joined him in his loft and we cuddled on the couch and watched "The Good Shepherd".
Then I did the unthinkable....I FELL ASLEEP! It wasn't even that late, must have been the wine and the comfort of his arms around me. Being the gentleman that he was, when I woke up at the end of the movie, he invited me to stay the night so I didn't have to drive home half asleep. I agreed to stay and joined him in his bed for a nice night of cuddling and snuggling - nothing else happened. However, I was so comfortable with him, and he with me, that we stayed in bed until noon the next day.
By noon I was receiving messages from my roommates who were thinking awful things about why I hadn't come home yet. I felt horrible! I had left my purse downstairs in the kitchen and didn't hear my phone ring. I text them back immediately to let them know I still lived and was on my way home. He walked me to my car and we said goodbye and that was that. There was no "I'll call you" from him and no "Give me a call some time" from me. I thought that was a little strange.
By Monday I still hadn't heard from him, so I assumed it was because I fell asleep and stayed over and there was no fooling around at all. I feared I had given him the impression that I wasn't interested. So I emailed him and told him I'd had fun on Friday and would like to see him again if he was still interested. The email I got back, I hadn't expected at all! Apparently Chemistry.com guy went on another date on Saturday with his best friend's girlfriend's friend who had recently moved to Denver. They'd all been hanging out a lot recently and he decided he'd like to try taking it to the next level. He told me he'd had a lot of fun with me and liked me, but he didn't want to date two girls at the same time and he wanted to see where things might go with this other girl.
Fair enough. I still wasn't sure about how I felt with him, other than comfortable. I certainly appreciate his honesty. Plus, if he hadn't told me that I probably would have gone girlie psycho and blamed myself for fucking everything up. Anyway, back to the drawing board.
Then I did the unthinkable....I FELL ASLEEP! It wasn't even that late, must have been the wine and the comfort of his arms around me. Being the gentleman that he was, when I woke up at the end of the movie, he invited me to stay the night so I didn't have to drive home half asleep. I agreed to stay and joined him in his bed for a nice night of cuddling and snuggling - nothing else happened. However, I was so comfortable with him, and he with me, that we stayed in bed until noon the next day.
By noon I was receiving messages from my roommates who were thinking awful things about why I hadn't come home yet. I felt horrible! I had left my purse downstairs in the kitchen and didn't hear my phone ring. I text them back immediately to let them know I still lived and was on my way home. He walked me to my car and we said goodbye and that was that. There was no "I'll call you" from him and no "Give me a call some time" from me. I thought that was a little strange.
By Monday I still hadn't heard from him, so I assumed it was because I fell asleep and stayed over and there was no fooling around at all. I feared I had given him the impression that I wasn't interested. So I emailed him and told him I'd had fun on Friday and would like to see him again if he was still interested. The email I got back, I hadn't expected at all! Apparently Chemistry.com guy went on another date on Saturday with his best friend's girlfriend's friend who had recently moved to Denver. They'd all been hanging out a lot recently and he decided he'd like to try taking it to the next level. He told me he'd had a lot of fun with me and liked me, but he didn't want to date two girls at the same time and he wanted to see where things might go with this other girl.
Fair enough. I still wasn't sure about how I felt with him, other than comfortable. I certainly appreciate his honesty. Plus, if he hadn't told me that I probably would have gone girlie psycho and blamed myself for fucking everything up. Anyway, back to the drawing board.
Monday, January 21, 2008
First Date
Last Tuesday I had a first date with a guy I met on Chemistry.com. We met at a bar - Trios Enoteca - in downtown Denver at 7 and enjoyed good conversation and good wine. Afterwards we went to a restaurant - McCormicks - and shared an appetizer and had some soup and more wine. We left around 11:30 or so. The date ended with him walking me to my car and then me driving him back to his. He asked if it would be okay to call, text or email me, to which I said yes.
So the next day I started to analyze the date, of course. Being a typical girl I figured I drank too much and talked too much and he probably was just being nice asking if he could call or email. There was no kiss good night and I wasn't sure if he was attracted to me or not. I've resolved to take things slow with any future relationships, so I was okay with no kiss good night. I'd really like to get to know this guy better.
On Friday I received an email with an apology for taking so long to contact me and an invitation for another date, if I was interested. I was so excited, because by Friday I had pretty much figured he wasn't interested. But I also knew that he had had a busy week planned, so I emailed him back saying I was definitely interested. However, since I had a weekend in the mountains planned with friends, we agreed to get together sometime next week. So now it's time to plan date number two!
So the next day I started to analyze the date, of course. Being a typical girl I figured I drank too much and talked too much and he probably was just being nice asking if he could call or email. There was no kiss good night and I wasn't sure if he was attracted to me or not. I've resolved to take things slow with any future relationships, so I was okay with no kiss good night. I'd really like to get to know this guy better.
On Friday I received an email with an apology for taking so long to contact me and an invitation for another date, if I was interested. I was so excited, because by Friday I had pretty much figured he wasn't interested. But I also knew that he had had a busy week planned, so I emailed him back saying I was definitely interested. However, since I had a weekend in the mountains planned with friends, we agreed to get together sometime next week. So now it's time to plan date number two!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Online Dating
Online dating has made some serious improvements in the past few years. It is no longer for just the freaks and the geeks. A lot of people are doing it! How do I know that? Because I'm one of them. I met my ex on Match.com. And even though things didn't work out with us, I don't see that as any fault of the website. In fact, I was quite surprised by the variety of people I saw on Match.com. I can honestly say that I am no longer the cynic I once was when it comes to online dating.
I'm not much of a casual dater. I don't really have much experience in the dating department, actually. I have never met a guy at the bar that I have hoped would want to date me, in fact, I think I've cringed on a number of occasions when giving out my number - probably one of the reasons I never got called. It seems that the guys I meet at bars only want one thing, and that happens to be just fine for me... at that moment.
So where do you go to meet someone that you want to have a deeper, romantic connection with? If your friends don't have any single friends to set you up with - ones you'd be interested in at least - then how do you meet anyone?
It may cost money, but online dating does the research for you. They find people in your area that have similar interests and values as you and connect you. They even try to match you with people they think you would find attractive! What more could you ask for? My one recommendation with online dating would be to never pay for more than one month at a time. Of course it is cheaper to do three or six months, but when you meet someone in the first month and you don't use if for the next five, it's not really cost efficient. Plus, if you don't meet someone in a month, take a month or so off before you reactivate your profile, that way you've got some fresh new faces to search through.
Anyway, I'm on Chemistry.com now, which works a little differently from Match.com. Instead of you searching through hundreds of profiles at your own convenience, they'll send you up to ten potential matches in one day. The only down side to Chemistry.com, that I've seen so far anyway, is that you can't see who your competition is. We'll see how it goes.
I'm not much of a casual dater. I don't really have much experience in the dating department, actually. I have never met a guy at the bar that I have hoped would want to date me, in fact, I think I've cringed on a number of occasions when giving out my number - probably one of the reasons I never got called. It seems that the guys I meet at bars only want one thing, and that happens to be just fine for me... at that moment.
So where do you go to meet someone that you want to have a deeper, romantic connection with? If your friends don't have any single friends to set you up with - ones you'd be interested in at least - then how do you meet anyone?
It may cost money, but online dating does the research for you. They find people in your area that have similar interests and values as you and connect you. They even try to match you with people they think you would find attractive! What more could you ask for? My one recommendation with online dating would be to never pay for more than one month at a time. Of course it is cheaper to do three or six months, but when you meet someone in the first month and you don't use if for the next five, it's not really cost efficient. Plus, if you don't meet someone in a month, take a month or so off before you reactivate your profile, that way you've got some fresh new faces to search through.
Anyway, I'm on Chemistry.com now, which works a little differently from Match.com. Instead of you searching through hundreds of profiles at your own convenience, they'll send you up to ten potential matches in one day. The only down side to Chemistry.com, that I've seen so far anyway, is that you can't see who your competition is. We'll see how it goes.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Birthday debauchery
Last night some of my close friends here in Denver and I went out to celebrate mine and another friend's 26th birthdays. Twenty-six is hard for me to accept, and from what I've heard from older friends, it's not very easy for anybody. It's a whole new age bracket...! I'm not in my early twenties anymore and I'm not going to be in my twenties forever either.
I was bound and determined to have a good time last night. I was extremely grateful to the friends who came out and had a good time with me - without them, turning twenty-six would have been more than unbearable.
The evening started at Sing Sing, a dueling piano bar. After quite a few drinks it was time for all the birthday celebrators and anyone else celebrating anything special to join the pianists on stage and make complete asses out of themselves. Knowing this was coming, I was not going easy on the drinks. The pianists had us perform a raunchy version of the Hokey Pokey for the audience, which in my inebriated state, I found to be a lot of fun. As I was returning to my table after my spectacular stage performance, a cute guy from the table behind ours offered me a shot in celebration of my birthday. After that, the evening took an interesting turn.
Birthday shot boy (as I will hence forth refer to him) and his sister left Sing Sing and accompanied our group to a Whiskey bar a few blocks away. I had arrived slightly earlier and was somewhat surprised to see the two additions to the group. Birthday shot boy zeroed in on me sitting at a table and was glued to my hip for the rest of the evening. He continued to buy my drinks (which I was now nursing in a feeble attempt to sober up a little, or at least to keep some of my good sense in tact) and we made small talk at the bar for the rest of the evening.
To make a long story short, I stayed with birthday shot boy all night. I was fully aware of what I was doing and don't have any regrets in doing what I did. Being a lady, I will not disclose at this time what exactly was done, but just so imaginations don't get too wild, I will say that I did not have sex with him.
So all in all, birthday shot boy helped to make my 26th birthday celebration a special one. I had a good time with him, for the most part. The only problem was, while I was with him, I couldn't stop thinking about my ex. Although I wasn't thinking "I wish I was with Chris right now" I was thinking "Chris would disapprove". Then I was thinking "What the fuck?!? Why should I even care what he would think!"
I don't understand why during the climax (no pun intended) of my evening, I was feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed! There is no sane, logical reason for it! All I can say is that I can't wait to put him behind me once and for all. I just wish I knew how to do that.
I was bound and determined to have a good time last night. I was extremely grateful to the friends who came out and had a good time with me - without them, turning twenty-six would have been more than unbearable.
The evening started at Sing Sing, a dueling piano bar. After quite a few drinks it was time for all the birthday celebrators and anyone else celebrating anything special to join the pianists on stage and make complete asses out of themselves. Knowing this was coming, I was not going easy on the drinks. The pianists had us perform a raunchy version of the Hokey Pokey for the audience, which in my inebriated state, I found to be a lot of fun. As I was returning to my table after my spectacular stage performance, a cute guy from the table behind ours offered me a shot in celebration of my birthday. After that, the evening took an interesting turn.
Birthday shot boy (as I will hence forth refer to him) and his sister left Sing Sing and accompanied our group to a Whiskey bar a few blocks away. I had arrived slightly earlier and was somewhat surprised to see the two additions to the group. Birthday shot boy zeroed in on me sitting at a table and was glued to my hip for the rest of the evening. He continued to buy my drinks (which I was now nursing in a feeble attempt to sober up a little, or at least to keep some of my good sense in tact) and we made small talk at the bar for the rest of the evening.
To make a long story short, I stayed with birthday shot boy all night. I was fully aware of what I was doing and don't have any regrets in doing what I did. Being a lady, I will not disclose at this time what exactly was done, but just so imaginations don't get too wild, I will say that I did not have sex with him.
So all in all, birthday shot boy helped to make my 26th birthday celebration a special one. I had a good time with him, for the most part. The only problem was, while I was with him, I couldn't stop thinking about my ex. Although I wasn't thinking "I wish I was with Chris right now" I was thinking "Chris would disapprove". Then I was thinking "What the fuck?!? Why should I even care what he would think!"
I don't understand why during the climax (no pun intended) of my evening, I was feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed! There is no sane, logical reason for it! All I can say is that I can't wait to put him behind me once and for all. I just wish I knew how to do that.
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